Poor Attitudes Call For Drastic Measures
by I.walk.in.air
Summary: So Goku is a freaking kid now. The Earths gonna blow in a year. Vegeta is still a prissy snob. But that's not the worst of their problems. Piccolo and Goku have an unfortunate and unforeseeable accident. With their new bodies can they still salvage even a little hope for the future? Two authors for this one. This should be fun. Full summary inside. Read it before u read story.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: So we don't own dragon ball z...*sniff...if only. We also don't own dragon ball gt. I'm not so sad about that one. But it had to be said. **

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**Summary:** So Goku is a freaking kid now. The Earths gonna blow in a year. Vegeta is still a prissy snob. But that's not the worst of their problems. Piccolo and Goku have an unfortunate and unforeseeable accident. With their new bodies can they still salvage even a little hope for the future? This fiction was put under DBZ because we use the main characters from DBZ more that those of GT. But we wanted to use more of the GT time line. Two authors for this one...hehe should be fun.

**A/N: **The authors lilpreciousone and I walk in air tag teamed this baby.( I walk in air's name has periods instead of spaces in-between each word) We wrote this as an Adventure with the good DBZ gang. This is also our attempt at a Humor. We sat down and just took turns writing sections, not telling the other what we were writing about. It was a blast. We got so much out of this together and we'd love to share it with you!

Each author has their own sections. So just so you can tell...

The Sign for I walk in air before their sections is :D

The sign for lilpreciousone before their sections is ~*~

. _*o_o*0*O*0*o_o*_.

**Poor Attitudes Call For Drastic Measures**

** Chapter: One**

**~*~** Goku was a child. HeHe. It would be a basket full of lies to say this didn't tickle Piccolo's darker humor. An emerald hand covered his amused, slightly mocking , smile. Chi Chi had fainted straight away after hearing the unfortunate news. Goku was poking her pale cheeks. "Honey? Chi Chi? Come on babe it's not so bad," his voice reminded Piccolo of Gohan back when he was a weak brat. Mistress of the frying pans moaned. Her tired eyes barely open when the water works began. "You were already gonna outlive me Goku, but now it's just not fair!"

The many times savior of the Earth helped his wife sit up. "That's not even the half of it Chi Chi!" He said unnecessarily cheerful, "If we don't get the black star balls back within a year you won't have to worry about outliving me. The Earth'll go super nova!"

Piccolo counted on his elegant fingers how many times the woman had fainted after this last one. He grinned, white fangs glinting. "That's five Gohan. You owe me fifty Zini kid." Gohan's unwilling wallet and pockets now empty, he sighed in defeat. "I really thought she'd handle this better." he lamented.

"You should know better than to bet against me Gohan." the Namekian chortled.

**:D Goku, with his tiny hand, patted his spouses trembling shoulder. "Not to worry! I'll just instant transmission. Problem solved! Then when I get back we'll use the orange dragon balls to wish me back to normal." Goku's words spread a deep reassurance in Chi Chi's subconscious. A smile imped its way onto her face. It was amazing how much Goku and Goten resembled each other. Chi Chi's downsized husband wrapped his short arms around her neck. "I'll be back in a jiffy." were his words. Piccolo and Gohan's spines felt a slithering chill of discomfort. They knew full well that Goku And Chi Chi were married, but unease engulfed them when the formal adult placed a tender kiss on the woman's lips. "Awkward," Gohan mumbled to his friend, "Really, really awkward." Piccolo scoffed, " I don't understand humans...or Saiyans for that matter." without warning, Gohan surprise attacked the Namek with a kiss on the Ol' green cheek. Piccolo stood dumbstruck. "Aargh! Gohan I'll rip your head clean off your shoulders!" Gohan put on his best cheesy face. "Ha! No you won't! Cuz I'm your friend. Your only friend. Since your not ticklish I have found a new way of torture!"**

**~*~ **Piccolo's creeper smile took Gohan off guard and quite thoroughly pinned his confidence to the floor. "Well I'll just be taking that little 'mistake' of yours as a friendly jest." Piccolo sized up Gohan shrewdly through one appraising onyx eye, "Unless of course...you meant something entirely different my silly boy." A long Green and pink arm had managed to snake it's way around Gohan's unsuspecting waist whilst saying this. Pulling the poor young man closely to him Piccolo whispered into Gohan's pink shell of an ear, "Do you think Videl would mind?" Gohan twisted out of the evil Namkes hold with a girly yelp. The married couple, still on the floor, studied their son with questioning expressions. "I-I'll be going n-now! G-good luck Dad and have fun with that!" Gohan said quickly. Wide eyed and shaken Gohan booked it out the door and away from his green friend.

**_*Piccolo laughs real hard and points a clawed finger at the screen your reading off of, "That's for all you perverted freaks who ship and read ships about us being gay! Namekians are freaking Asexual and Gohan is so full of moral standards it practically drips out his ears! Well, there will be none of that in this fic I say!" Piccolo grumbles, "Nasty...bunch of...disgusting...people in this world." He glares at the author writing this section, "You even think of putting that in this fic and I'll-!" The author promises not to profusely then gets back to the fic.*_**

"Oh, Gohan! You don't know what your missing!" The sly one yelled after the retreating half Saiyan. Piccolo sighed, very much amused with making Gohan uncomfortable after what he'd just tried to pull. "Teach you to kiss me. Well, now that that's out of the way." Piccolo said turning to Goku, "You do remember that King Kai said wishes made by the black star dragon balls can't be undone by any of the other sets. Not Shen Long, or even Porunga can change you back!" Goku considered this with abnormal intensity, his innocent face twisting into one of concentrated thought, seeking out possible solutions. Piccolo and Chi Chi stepped back to give him the much needed space his simple mind required. They jumped when he suddenly snapped his fingers and cried triumphantly, "Then we'll use the orange star dragon balls to wish Chi Chi back to my age! We could grow up together again!" If Gohan had but stayed that short while longer he would have had to fork over another fifty Zini.

**:D Chi Chi stood, her face reddening, trying to keep her head so as to avoid another intimate moment with the floor. How kind and innocent Goku was and still managed to suggest some pretty wild ideas. Well at least he wasn't acting the exact same as in his original childhood days. Goku's head used to revolve around food and fighting only. He'd acquired some room for more serious thoughts somewhere along the way in this new transformation. For this she was eternally grateful. **

** Before long Goku was ready to venture out into the distant parts of the universe to hunt down the dragon balls. Two index fingers raised, meeting Goku's forehead. Nothing happened. He just stood there. "Well, Goku? Whats wrong?" whimpered a confused Chi Chi. Piccolo decided to hasten Goku's departure. The Namek had seen enough fluff and emotion go around. "Get along now. Stop with the constipated faces and kick it into high gear. Go!" Piccolo said in a commanding tone. Goku grunted and began pulling his hair. Pacing back and forth. Back and forth. Sweat started to drip down the Saiyan's head.**

~*~ "I can't do it!" the small Saiyan cried. "Do what? Can't do what? Leave?!" Piccolo growled, disregarding Goku's distress, "Here, I'll even help you!" Piccolo lifted Goku up by his light blue collar and looked up at the sky. "Which direction does the radar say the first ball is? I'll toss 'im halfway the crap there!" he snarled. Goku became furious. What was Piccolo's problem? Granted the Namek had always been sarcastic, grumpy, detached, and knowingly rude, but the fate of the Earth and all the lives there in were at stake. Goku may be smaller now, but he was every bit as badass as he had been older and the foot dangling parallel to the green warrior's chest could still dish out some serious shit.

After Piccolo, moaning and clutching his middle, managed to pick himself up he glared at the grinning boy. Goku put his fists up, daring the bigger man to cross the line. "If your done being an unhelpful old man I'd like to explain that I can;'t seem to use my instant transmission." Goku said. Piccolo felt stupid, and he should, the bastard. "Whatever," he huffed, "We'll just go see Bulma and get a Capsule Corp. ship." This wasn't the apology Goku wanted, but he didn't push his luck. It was already miraculous that the Namekian hadn't taken his challenge. Chi Chi would kill him if they destroyed the house. His wife showed no signs of unease though. In fact she was grinning from ear to ear. "Piccolo," she giggled, "just got his green backside handed to him by a child!" Piccolo went for the kill. Goku got in his way. Just his luck. How humiliating.

**:D When they arrived at Capsule Corp. Piccolo, Goku, and Chi Chi were 'greeted' by Bulma and Vegeta. By greeted that means Bulma doing the greeting and Vegeta crossing his arms while giving his famous glare. Vegeta looked towards the miniature Saiyan with a wicked expression of mirth. "Pfffft! Oh, Kakarott don't you look...dashing!" The snot brained prince sneered just because he could. Chi Chi excused herself and headed to the kitchen for...(you can guess). Feelings of power flushed over Vegeta. He was finally taller then Goku. Oh, how he hated having to look upwards to see that face. The very face Goku made that somehow cheered everyone up except himself. Vegeta finally looked down and smirked, "Want to spar little man?" Goku graced him with an amused smile.**

**~*~ **Piccolo snorted at Vegeta and proceeded to get comfy on a cushioned chair. He winced and massaged his bruising chest lightly. "What happened to you pond scum?" Vegeta sneered. "Him." Piccolo simply said, pointing to Goku's ever glowing smug face.

"What did you do?"

"Made a reference to his size."

At this the puffy prince paled considerably. Glancing nervously at Goku, Vegeta said, "I have things to do. Priorities." and excused himself. "Nice one Piccolo!" Goku laughed.

"AAAAAAAH! Damn you! Crazy woman!" All heads turned to the door Vegeta had just exited.

"That'll teach you to mock my husband you lout!"

Bulma snickered. "Looks like Chi Chi gave Vegeta the old frying p -," she stopped mid-sentence, her eyes getting wide, "No, Chi Chi! Stop! You'll dent my pan and that's my Paula Dean set!" The blue headed beauty rushed out into the hall, planning an intervention to her husband's beating. Piccolo looked at Goku. Goku looked at Piccolo. Both smiled simultaneously. Deep and high pitched laughter filled the Capsule Corp. living room.

**:D Most everyone spent the next couple of minutes watching Bulma Pace. To and Fro. To and Fro. After being updated on the no-instant-transmission situation, Bulma had taken it upon herself the responsibility of solving it. Piccolo was tempted to comment on her annoying pacing. When the Namekian needed to think meditation was the answer. Bulma held up three dainty fingers. "We have three choices!" she said, as if trying to gain the attention of a large crowd. "First option...We do nothing." Bulma was joking. Her unexpected sarcastic suggestion created a riot. "Second!" She screamed while clenching her fist, "You take a space ship. In other words the long way." The commotion from the previous choice died down. The idea of the second seemed to be the only logical course of action. What was the third?**

**~*~ "**Thirdly...," everyone held their breath, "...we could use our brains and just wish the black star dragon balls to earth with the orange star balls!" The collective released their pent up air. Piccolo wasn't pleased. He stood straightening his gi bottoms and tightened his belt. "That was a great idea Bulma!" He said with false praise, "IF IT WERE FREAKING POSSIBLE!" Everyone, even Vegeta, flinched. "Shen Long can't do it! I don't know if you've noticed but these new dragon balls are powered by the original guardian, that being me, and the orange ones are Dende's." Bulma blew a stray strand of blue hair out of her face and scowled, "So?" "Soooooo...I'm stronger than he is OBVIOUSLY!" Some spittle actually landed in Vegeta's hair, Piccolo was so livid. "Shen Long doesn't have the capability for a wish of such magnitude! The only option is taking a ship."

"Fine." Bulma grumbled. People began to stand, preparing to make their ways home. Today had been a long one and it seemed pretty obvious which choice had been chosen silently by all. "Oh, where do you people believe your going?" Vegeta pipped up. "Home," Goku said confused, "The only choice is the second." Vegeta's smile was almost feral, "Not really there is a fourth choice." Mouths hit the floor. Vegeta was...thinking?!...For the well being of others. It was a big deal, the guy is insanely selfish. "Yes, I did say there was a 'forth' choice. Since pond scum here has pointed out our only problem." Nameks should never be the color Piccolo sported. "I-I did?" he stuttered. "It's simple really." Vegeta's whole visage had changed, his tone serious. "Piccolo's being alive and all is the only thing keeping these black star dragon balls active. We need to kill him...I'll do it." he offered.

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**A/N: **lilpreciousone here! That's the first chapter. If you like please give us a review. It takes hours to write, type, and post this down with very little typos. Some typos are on purpose (Like made up words) but grammar we are sorry for. My backside hurts so take pity on me and review. If you liked this check out my other story and please look up I walk in air's stories as well. They are worth it.

**A/N: **ello! This is I walk in air! (there are periods instead of spaces in-between each word of my name) our computer is stupid! Hope you enjoyed the story. I'm hoping you review cuz we put our time into this. Watch out for the future chapters. It was a pleasure to write with lilpreciousone and I say you should read her other stories. Write you soon!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: We (the glamorous authors) do not own or lay a smidgen of a claim to DRAGON Ball Z or Dragon Ball GT! Whoop Dere it is! A disclaimer for all you lawyer happy sue freaks. **

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**A/N: **This took a while...please forgive us. Well, we realized that we had accidentally left you at what could be known as a cliff hanger. Hee. Sorry for the wait but we authors were contemplating on who would write the climax of this chapter so we simply prolonged it as long as possible. This chapter is, just like the rest of the story, for your enjoyment. *hint* it is good to review... motivates faster posting of the chapters. Now sit back and enjoy the read! Maybe we can get you on the edged of your seat... bed? Ground? Whatever. Enjoy!

The section that are bold with the **:D **face are I walk in air's.

The section that are normal with the ~*~ are lilpreciousone's.

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**Poor Attitudes Call For Drastic Measures**

** Chapter: two**

**:D There were many mixed feelings and crazed expressions passing around. Piccolo's faced turned sour. He should have known Vegeta wouldn't be of any help. **

**Piccolo said, " If you kill me how will that stop the planets fate?!"**

**Thank Shen Long, Gohan had just walked in! Which gave Piccolo the opening to leave before Vegeta could reply and cause more damage. The green alien made it out into one of the many halls. _'Need to think..' _he thought. Before he could exit the building to enjoy the solitude of meditation someone tugged on his cape.**

"**Come with me. Bulma wants to speak with us privately." Goku whispered. Piccolo turned and swinging his left arm to the side, pulled the white heavy fabric from Goku's grasp. He glared at the shorter...man?..boy?- Whatever!**

"**She said something regarding an option five!" Goku chirped excitedly. **

"**SO?! Let me guess. There are probably seventy freaking ways to go about this, but our only feasible one is too slow for our crazy genius?" Piccolo said, "Whats next? She gonna pump your system full of steroids and hope for the best?" **

**The Namek scowled, the fact that Bulma wanted to meet in secret was making his every sense itch like mad. **

~*~ Bulma is truly a brilliant woman. (her control over a certain prince is proof enough of her bold genius) The two nervous looking warriors currently fidgeting side by side in her lab were surviving witnesses of her scary, albeit life saving, contributions to the team. Bulma surely was a distant relative of Einstein. That didn't make dealing with her any more durable.

"Vegeta's right," she said, not even a tick of emotion betraying her firm resolve. Goku looked outraged while Piccolo just sighed and bowed his head as if surrendering to the ghastly fifth option. "I...guess I understand." he said softly. Goku released a feral sound worthy of a full-moon raised, fur covered Saiyan monster.

"He's right, but there is a better way than just blasting a hole through Piccolo's chest." Bulma said, staring at Goku like he was the one who she had, almost casually, agreed needed to be snuffed out. "Listen, boys, I think I've got the answer. We kill Piccolo," she smiled ruefully, "Not that we haven't ever wanted to see him reduced to a pile of Namek pieces in the past- no offense."

"None taken." he assured her.

"The black star balls will then turn to gray ordinary rocks leaving them powerless... Then, with the orange star balls we bring the inactive buggers here and use the last wish to bring Piccolo back!" She cried triumphantly.

Goku's frown fled. Piccolo's tense shoulders relaxed. This could work, really work. What would they possibly do without Bulma? Goku ran forward to hug his lifelong friend and tripped on a black plug-in cord haphazardly strune across the lab floor. With Namekian fast reflexes Piccolo caught his little arm before he could face plant. Huffing, Goku kicked the wiring and stuck his tongue out at it to blow raspberries. The pink appendage slipped back behind his lips, however, when he caught sight of the tall metal arch it was attached to. The odd contraption appeared to be made of a light bluish-gray shining material he couldn't recognize and was wide enough for three bouncers to stand underneath, shoulder to shoulder. His minor hurt forgotten, Goku's curiosity took over and bested him.

"Bulma? Whats this thingy do?" asked an intrigued Saiyan.

"Oh, that?...just some old project of mine."

**:D * Author of this section mentally slaps the other author. "Hate...You."* **

**Bulma eyed the thing warily. "I gave up on this old scrap to work on the designs of the first dragon radar. Still don't know if it works or not." she said dully, her hand tracing the patterned markings on the dusty machinery.**

"**Whats it supposed to do?" Goku questioned while inspecting the arch. The blue haired woman shook her head solemnly.**

"**Something to do with a person's conscience I believe.." she paused, "or like...I don't know! It involved a switch of some sort, but-..." Bulma seemed rather frustrated with herself. Why couldn't she remember this? Then it clicked and her back met the closest wall. Sliding down it she suddenly felt exhausted and folded into a sitting position. "That was my first failure," she muttered, "I remember everything. This machine was supposed to allow living things to swap each others conscience." **

**Goku listened intently, his new tail flicking around. Piccolo was taking the moment to meditate and prepare for his 'friendly' execution. The lab was silent for awhile, then the miniature adultish-child asked, "How do you know if it works or not?" There was no harshness in Goku voice yet Bulma's bottom lip quivered.**

"**I tested it out on my two favorite cats."**

**this caught the Namek's attention. "Then what?" he asked.**

**The silent water works began as she said, "They...They died." **

~*~ *I rub my reddening cheek. "Ha! I will take your bait and run wild with it!*

"_DIED?!_" Piccolo unconsciously retreated a feet away from the freaking murder machine. Goku, being the sweetheart he is, wrapped his arms around Bulma's shaking shoulders. The beautiful scientist sobs surprising Piccolo. She always put up a strong I'll-be-taking-none-of-your-inferior-opinions-seriously. Bulma was one tough ckicky and she had never failed as far as they'd known until this...revelation.

"Hey, hey, it's alright it could have been worse." Goku whispered, stroking the mop of electric blue hair atop Bulma's noggin', " You could of tested on peoples but instead you killed two dumb cats."

Bulma wailed and the noise deafened poor Piccolo. The angry Namek tried to block his hearing by covering his ears with both hands. If Bulma kept it up he'd lose his second sense in the most agonizing way. Death by screeching. Not pleasant.

"GOKU! Gah! You-you idiot!" Piccolo cried, his head ringing from the piercing shrieks emitted from the distraught female and his body began to tremble. Goku glared at the stricken Namek.

"What did I do?!" he yelled angrily.

Piccolo snarled, "Sh-...Shut up!"

The little guy stamped his child sized foot, "Not until you tell me why you called me that! I'm not stupid like everyone thinks! I'm tired of being see as a fool!"

"Your not helping your case Goku! Stop yelling you moron!" Piccolo dropped to one knee, the combined vocal efforts of Goku and Bulma undoing him. Goku was to enraged to notice and shoved piccolo over, who in turn kicked the ten year old Goku's feet out from under him. Leaving his hearing to the dogs, for he believe it all but done for, Piccolo abandoned the vain attempt to plug his banshee raped ears and lashed out at Goku's unprotected face. Canines, sharpened over the years to better suit the ravenous Saiyan's appetite, clamped down on the wrist of Piccolo's clenched hand. The Namek yowled and brought his bleeding hand to his chest, bringing a growling Goku with it in the process.

Then began a seriously bruising tussle between two of the world's strongest occupants. Bulma knew her fierce crying was doing Piccolo harm, but to see both of her good friends fighting this way made her cry even harder. The emerald giant locked his legs around Goku's waist as the Son grasped the collar of the others purple gi. Hissing and glaring they rolled in a death log toward the sobbing scientist, who scuttled out of the way.

"Guys!" she screamed, panic forcing her out of the weeping fit, "GUYS! Stop, your-!" Bulma's words were drowned out by a pained cry from Goku, who had become the victim of a strangling hold. Wildly he kicked his short legs. Bulma's heart seemed to stop as she watched the scene her mind had her viewing in slow motion.

Goku and Piccolo were trying their damnedest to kill each other...underneath the strange metal arch. A thrashing Goku foot made connection with a low residing panel on the inner side of the killing contraption. A low clicking sound was heard only by Bulma as the thing kicked on, humming with life.

***GAAAAAAAHHHH!***

**Time appeared to come to an almost complete stop. Horror struck, Bulma sat in a stupor. She wanted to react and stop the accidental slaughter of the two, but soon lost all hope. Her limbs stiffened as realization hit. She new it took a mere millisecond for the lethal machine to inflict pain and death upon its current specimen. She couldn't bare to see it. Bulma's lids came down over her eyes to shield away the scene.**

**'_And it's all my fault... If I hadn't built the thing to begin with, if I had destroyed it after gaining knowledge of its deadly affects, if I didn't allow it to sit here for this long... None of this would have ever happened._' she had the words run over and over in her mind.**

**Very similar things had sketched their way into her thoughts many years prior to this moment. A moment that seemingly lasted years worth, but this time with a much darker gloom about it. No longer were there any hints to support that the two seasoned worriers' fight was still at bay.**

**'_What should I tell Chi Chi... or, well, anybody for that matter?_' Bulma wondered.**

**Time resumed its normal speed as the humming slowed to a stop... Guilty. Wads of depression creeped throughout her mind as it came to an end. Her own invention... a murder machine. The airy silence proving there wasn't an inkling of a chance they had survived. **

"**No..." the lonely woman sobbed into her palms. Bulma's eyes remained clamped shut.**

**Then it happened!**

"**Ugghhhmm.." Goku and Piccolo groaned in unison. In surprise, the blue haired scientist/engineer jumped so high her head collided with the ceiling. After, she scrambled up to her feet and towards her friends. "Wha-! Goku?! Piccolo?! You're... well you're.." Bulma shouted in relief. There they were, dare she say it, ALIVE! Without really thinking, she launched herself onto the closest person. (which just happened to be Piccolo) "Argh." the green man mumbled. Both of her friends were sprawled on the floor and their eyes were shut. **

"**Oh!" Bulma smiled, "Sorry Piccolo."**

"**It's ok...ugrh..."**

"**I wasn't taking to you Goku!" **

***Sorry, but I didn't have the brain power to write freakishly long sections. Slaps other author once more. (With a Paula Dean frying pan) I admit. You won this battle of prolongation.***

**A/N:** I. walk. in. air. (No spaces in name) here! Thank you all who at least read mine and lilpreciousone's stories. It's simply marvelous to know that some of you actually like our writing. Reviews will earn some chances of me reading the stories you've written. Come on! It takes little effort to send a review. Sooooooo pleeeeeaaaassssseeeeeee! REVIEW! :D and yes I admit I lost the fight.


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